


Begin Again

by greaserbabes



Category: MCU, Marvel, marvel cinematic unu
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve loves Tony, Stonyfeels, Tony Stark Feels, Tony loves Steve, stony fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 09:38:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16261556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greaserbabes/pseuds/greaserbabes
Summary: Tony Stark has only ever thought that love breaks, and burns, and ends. But when he goes on a date with Steve Rogers, he watches it begin again.Tony is recently out of an abusive relationship and is worried about being too destructive for Steve.





	Begin Again

Tony looks at himself in the mirror, his eyes scanning over his face, slightly lingering on his freshly trimmed beard. He hadn't trimmed it to have the oddly symmetrical patterns in quite a while, and he was glad that he'd found the courage to shave. It made him feel more like himself. He sighed lightly, feeling stupid. Luke was right, the patterns were sort of dumb.

xxx

"Either shave it completely or grow it out." Luke crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe of Tony's bathroom. "The way it's styled now makes you look like you have herpes or something." 

Tony laughed. "I doubt that." 

"I'm serious. Don't you dare trim it like that again." 

"I don't think you can tell me how to style my own facial hair. I don't tell you-" he was cut off by a hard slap to the face. 

"And don't talk back like that either." He glared, before turning and walking away. 

The slap hadn't hurt too bad. He'd definitely been through worse while out saving the world and what not, but it had startled him. His mind played back what had happened. He hadn't said anything that made him deserve to be hit, had he? Nothing outside his usual level of snarkiness. "What the hell.." he mumbled, completely shocked. 

xxx

He stared at himself in the mirror for a few more seconds before shaking his head. He shouldn't be thinking about his ex. He had a date, with Steve Rogers too. He can't let himself ruin this. 

When Steve first asked, he thought it was a joke. So he responded sort of sarcastically.

 

"Sure, I'll go on a date with you. Let me just buy a new suit and everything. I'll pick you up at six." Tony scoffed, but laughed as well.

"A suit won't be necessary." Steve grinned. "I was hoping we could meet up at this coffee shop Wednesday around noon? I'll be out near there anyways, and you love coffee, and this place is pretty good. It's casual, of course." 

This caught Tony off guard. Steve had been serious. He really wanted to go on a date, and had already seemed to have planned out what they would be doing in his head. He was shocked by the excitement that was clear in Steve's voice, and he couldn't help but think about how his previous boyfriend made it seem like a chore to go out. "Um...that sounds great. I'll be there. Wednesday right?" 

"Yeah, Wednesday. It's called Golden Cafe. Is noon alright? I can make it later, or earlier too. Anytime you need, I'll do. I don't think it opens until 5:00 am though, and-"

"12:00 is fine, Steve." He laughed at his rambling. "Wednesday.."

 

And dear God it was Wednesday. He didn't expect Captain America to actually want a date with someone like himself. Steve was so sweet and beautiful and just an overall amazing person. What the hell did he want from someone as broken as Tony?

"Good morning, sir." Jarvis' voice startled him. "You asked me to alert you when the time reached 11:30 am." 

"Yeah...thanks." Tony took a deep breath and walked out of his bedroom and to the elevator. The place wasn't far, so he figured he'd walk. It was nice out anyway, and walking felt sort of humbling. 

  He felt stupid when it was only 11:42 and the coffee shop was already in sight. He'd be sitting at a table waiting for probably a half hour, since it was likely Steve would be late. It's embarrassing to be right on time for a first date, or at least Luke had said that. It makes the other person seem too eager. But here Tony was, fifteen minutes early, and likely going to look eager as hell. 

  He hated that the possibility of Steve not showing up at all crossed his mind, but it did. It happened more times than he could count with Luke. He again had to remind himself to quit think about him, and try to remember that it's Steve Rogers he's going out with. Steve Rogers who is the nicest person in the world and wouldn't stand someone up. Steve Rogers who is much too good for Tony Stark and might be playing a practical joke on him. 

  Tony's breath quickens at the thought. 

  He mentally prepares himself to be waiting for an hour, until it's clear that Steve had no intention of showing up. He prepares himself on how he'll deal with it, and almost wishes that he brought a laptop or something that he could work on so it doesn't look like he was stood up. 

  It's a surprise when he gets up to the window and sees Steve already sitting at a table, fixing his hair in the reflection of the napkin holder. His heartbeat speeds up, and his stomach feels all fuzzy. He's early... 

xxx

  "You never showed up." Tony ground his teeth together when he found Luke lazily laying on the couch in his penthouse. 

  Luke shrugged. "I looked at the menu online and it all seemed pretty gross. I decided to skip it. I grabbed some Chinese." 

  "You didn't think to call me and tell me this, before I spent an hour and a half at a restaurant waiting for you?" His voice was just below that of a yell. "Real asshole move, Luke. There's gonna be headlines tomorrow—Tony Stark: heartbroken and hurt!" 

  Luke stood and pulled Tony forward by his hair. "Talk to me like that again, and I swear to God I will make you feel pain that you work even be able to experience out on the field." He raised his fist and punched him hard on his left cheekbone. 

  And Tony could have deflected it, but he didn't. He didn't want to believe that Luke would actually hurt him like that again. Luke loved him, and if he hit him, then Tony probably deserved.

xxx

  Gosh, snap out of it. Tony blinked, once again trying to push the bad thoughts of of his head. Steve looked so happy, and excited too. A ghost of a smile appeared on Tony's lips as he opened the door. 

The bell rang, causing Steve to look up. He stood and gave a slight wave. "Hey," He grinned and pulled out the chair on the other side of the table for Tony. 

Tony stared at the chair, and for some reason his breath caught in his throat. Steve had no idea how nice that was, but Tony did. The way it made his stomach twist and flutter, and his heart speed up. He vowed to never forget that moment, no matter what happened between the two of them. It was a simple gesture, but it was something that showed care, and no one had ever done that for him before. 

"You look great." Steve said. "I like when you wear tshirts." 

Tony glanced down at his old band tshirt and then looked up at Steve. Luke never complemented him. "Thanks, you look nice too. I don't know how you manage to wear the same thing every day and make it look better than anything I could ever wear." He chuckled lightly, and Steve laughed as well. 

And wow, Steve's laugh was amazing. He felt a sense of pride that he had made him laugh. 

xxx

It was movie night, which meant that Tony, Steve, Bruce, Natasha, and Clint were all piled together in the living room watching some old eighties movie that Tony had picked out. This night, Luke had joined them, which hadn't really bothered the other Avengers. He was Tony's boyfriend after all. 

"Pretty in Pink?" Clint asked. "You've truly outdone yourself this time." 

"Why thank you." Tony said dramatically as he pressed play. "I'll have you know, this is a great tale of romance, betrayal, and war." 

"War?" 

"The inner war every teenage girl faces."

The comment gained a few laughs, but they all subsided once Luke rolled his eyes and stood. "God, you're embarrassing. You really thought that was a good one. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to act like a fag, Stark." He curled his fist and raised it just slightly, but it was enough to cause Tony to flinch. 

Luke looked pleased by the fear in Tony's eyes, and turned and left. 

Everyone was shocked, to say the least. Steve placed a hand on his shoulder. "Tony..?" 

He pulled away and stood, attempting to look like his usual self. "You guys can choose another movie, I think I'm gonna go down to the workshop for a bit." He ignored the protests from everyone, and left before he could lose anymore of his pride. 

xxx

And now Steve's laughing again, at another joke Tony had cracked. He watched as Steve threw his head back in a childlike manner, gaining a few glances from the other people in the shop. 

  He can't help but think it's strange that Steve thinks he's funny. Luke scolded him every time he made a joke, and eventually he just shut his mouth, figuring it was easier than getting popped in the face. 

  Steve's laughing has subsided into small chuckles now. "How's your coffee? I know that you're an expert coffee drinker, so I hope this doesn't disappoint you." 

  "It's great," Tony says, honestly. "Definitely does not disappoint." 

  And then Steve gives him that lovesick smile, and Tony wonders when he became so straightforward with his feelings. "I'm really having a good time, Tony. I'm glad you don't think this is weird, and I hope it doesn't complicate things for the team." 

  He smiles, (he doesn't think he's smiled this much in months.) "I don't think it will. It's just one date." 

  "I'm hoping I could turn it into two?" Steve asks, hope clear in his voice. "And then maybe three?" 

  "You...you wanna do this again?" 

  "Um, yeah. It doesn't have to be anything big. I just..." He smiled shyly, and chuckles. "What are you doing the rest of the day?" 

  Tony's caught off guard, again. "Oh, um...I don't think anything important really." 

  "Would you wanna watch a movie? Have a marathon? There's plenty of movies that I've been told I need to see. I'd like to see them with you." His cheeks reddened just slightly. "Just you, actually. I like the comments you make to yourself, they're funny." 

Tony stares at him, shocked that Steve really wants to spend time with him like that. Shocked that he keeps giving him a that smile. Shocked that he wants a second date, and then a third. "That really sound nice, Steve." He bites his lip. "But, I don't want something that's not gonna he serious, and this date was nice-"

  "I want something serious with you." Steve interrupts. "I have for a while, actually. After the third date, I'm going for a fourth, and then a fifth, and definitely a sixth. I want to be with you, Tony. Is it weird to ask someone to be their boyfriend on the first date? God, that is weird isn't it."

  Tony can't help but scoff. "With me? You want it with me? Do you know how broken I am? I'd drag you down with me. I'm not who I used to be, I...There was..."

  "Luke." Steve face darkened. "I know that he hurt you. I know that he hit you. He was destructive, Tony. You need someone to lift you up; make you happy. Let me be that someone, please. I really care about you. I want to be with you." 

  "He didn't hit me..." Tony mumbled. The last thing he wanted was for Steve to think that he was weak for allowing someone to beat him up every now and then. "You don't need to worry about me or anything, I'll be fine." 

  "Tony," Steve gave him a look, and Tony melted. He felt a lump in his throat that he desperately tried to swallow. 

"You deserve so much better than me." He finally whispered. 

Steve stared, before shaking his head and standing up. "Come on," He held out his hand. "let's go watch a movie."

  Tony shyly took his hand, and Steve pulled them out of the cafe. His mind was racing. He's gonna hate me because of Luke. He's gonna abandon me. He took a breath. He had to know what Steve really thought about him and how he stayed in such an abusive relationship. He opened his mouth, but before any words came out, Steve was talking. 

  "Clint says that Christmas movies are the best, and that once December comes I have to watch them all. He said his favorite is...Christmas Vacation? I think?" He squeezed Tony's hand. "Do you have a favorite?" 

  "Uh, I've never seen too many myself, actually." 

  "Then I guess we'll watch those together, too." 

  There Steve was, taking his mind off things, and just plain reminding him that some things aren't worth worrying about. He let out a breath, for the first time, what's past is past.

  "That would be nice, yeah." He smiled. "But today we're definitely gonna have a Star Trek marathon. It's one of those you just have to see." 

xxx

  The slap hadn't hurt too bad. He'd definitely been through worse while out saving the world and what not, but it had startled him. His mind played back what had happened. He hadn't said anything that made him deserve to be hit, had he? Nothing outside his usual level of snarkiness. "What the hell.." he mumbled, completely shocked.

  He rubbed his face lightly and walked out of his room, planning on going down to his lab. But it had been two days since he last ate anything, and he and Luke's dinner plans were obviously canceled, so he went to the kitchen to grab at least a sandwich before shutting himself out from the world for a few long hours. 

  He stepped in the communal kitchen and found Steve already in there, cooking something on the stove. He looked up and waved slightly. "Hey Tony."

"Whatcha making?" He asked, because whatever it was smelt good. 

  "Pasta, you want any?" 

  "I was just about to make a sandwich, actually." 

  "Are you sure? I'm horrible at measuring out how much to make. I'm not used to some of these new foods yet." Steve chuckled lightly. "There's plenty for both of us." 

  "I mean if you insist." Tony said as he grabbed an extra bowl out. "You almost done with it?" 

  Steve hummed. "I am done with it, actually. You came just in time." He scooped some out into their bowls. Tony expected Steve to leave to his floor to eat it, but he sat down at the table, and didn't eat until he sat as well. "I haven't seen much of you lately. You been in your lab?" 

  "Oh yeah. You know me. I can't go more than a few minutes without thinking about that place." He joked. 

  "I do know. I miss you whenever you're there for days at a time." Steve said. 

  Tony fumbled over his words, because there was complete sincerity in Steve's voice. "Well uh...um... I guess you'll have to start visiting me." 

  Steve smiled. "I guess so." 

xxx

  As Tony put on the movie, he realized that it had always been like that. Steve was always there to make him forget, he had only just now acknowledged it.

"I hope these movies are as good as you say they are." 

Tony turned back to look at him, and smiled happily. "They are, trust me." 

Steve grabbed his hand and pulled him down to the couch. He wrapped both arms around his waist and rested his chin on the other mans head. Tony sighed and relaxed, allowing himself to enjoy it. 

xxx

Luke stood and pulled Tony forward by his hair. "Talk to me like that again, and I swear to God I will make you feel pain that you work even be able to experience out on the field." He raised his fist and punched him hard on his left cheekbone. 

  And Tony could have deflected it, but he didn't. He didn't want to believe that Luke would actually hurt him like that again. Luke loved him, and if he hit him, then Tony probably deserved.

He simply turned and left, rushing to go to his lab. He felt safest there, and it calmed him, knowing that he was in control of everything that went on. He could only get hurt if it was self inflicted. No one else could hurt him. 

As soon as he got inside it, he began tinkering with some devices he'd left from nights before. Anything just to distract himself. His breathing was fast and quick, and in the back of his mind he worried that maybe his arc reacted would fail since his heart was beating so fast. 

"Sir, Mr. Rogers is on his way down." Jarvis said, in a voice that was as sympathetic as an AI could get.

  "Did you tell him to come?" Tony asked, confused. 

  "Your vitals indicated that you were on the brink of a panic attack." 

  "Tony?" Steve entered the room and spoke in a soft voice.

  "And you let him in." He groaned. "You're fired, Jarvis."

  "He said you were about to have a panic attack. What's going on?" Steve rested an arm on his shoulder, which caused Tony to grimace and shut his eyes tight. "I'm sorry." He quickly pulled away. "Where's Luke?" 

  "He um...he," it took Tony a few seconds to get his mind back. "he left a little bit ago." 

  "Weren't you two supposed to go out to dinner?" 

"Yeah, how'd you know?" 

Steve blushed. "I was looking for you, and Jarvis told me you were having dinner with him...so what happened?"

"He cancelled. It's okay though, I'm fine." Tony picked up a screw driver and began twirling it through his fingers, attempting to calm himself down.

"Well how about we order some pizza, and we'll have dinner." He smiled lightly. "And by 'we order' I mean you order, because I can't figure out how to work the stupid app."

That caused Tony to break out of his trancelike state and laugh. "Okay, I'll order for us."

xxx

  Steve had fallen asleep around the fifth movie, but he didn't let go of Tony. He'd let out a light snore every once in a while, indicating a deep sleep. 

  Tony hated to wake him, but he knew that both of them wouldn't benefit from sleeping on a couch. He gently shook him, and crawled out of his grip. "Steve? Wake up, you need to sleep in a bed." 

  Steve groaned and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?" 

  "Maybe eleven? You were knocked out for a while." 

  "Oh, okay." He stood and stretched. "Are you gonna sleep too?"

  "I'm not really tired right now, I'll probably go to bed in a few hours." He walked Steve to the elevator. 

"Thanks for going out with me tonight." Steve reached out and caressed the side of his face, rubbing circles with his thumb. "Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me."

  "Yeah, I do." He leaned into the touch just a bit, before waving him good night. 

xxx

  Luke looked pleased by the fear in Tony's eyes, and turned and left. 

Everyone was shocked, to say the least. Steve placed a hand on his shoulder. "Tony..?" 

He pulled away and stood, attempting to look like his usual self. "You guys can choose another movie, I think I'm gonna go down to the workshop for a bit." He ignored the protests from everyone, and left before he could lose anymore of his pride.

  Just before the elevator doors closed, Steve entered it as well. "Come back and watch the movie with us, please." 

"Yeah, no thanks. I don't want any of their looks of pity." Tony grumbled and pushed the button to his penthouse. 

"Well if you're not coming back, then I'm staying with you." 

"I don't want your pity either."

"This doesn't have anything to do with you, okay?" Steve snapped. "You're so stubborn. Tony, I only even go to movie nights because you're there. If you're not there I don't even bother staying. I want to spend time with you." 

Tony wasn't exactly sure what to say. Not many people had ever wanted to be around him just to hang out. "I...I really don't want to go back there. I don't wanna make a fool out of myself." 

"We don't have to go back. Let's do something. You ever sit outside and just look up at the sky?" Steve offered him a smile. "It's a great distraction. Come on, we won't have to think about our problems until tomorrow." 

xxx

  He told you that if you needed anything, find him. This is okay. You're not bothering him. 

  Tony took a deep breath. He had finished up in his lab, and for some reason, the thought of going to his big, empty bed was too much at the moment. He didn't want to be alone. It'd drive him crazy. 

  So he was in front of Steve's bedroom door, trying to knock. He didn't care if Steve made him sleep on the floor. At least there would be the comfort of knowing that there was another person in the room. After one more minute of pep-talk, he gave in and knocked. 

  Within seconds Steve had opened it. "Hey..." he rubbed his eyes. "Are you okay?" 

  "Yeah, I'm fine. I just," He scanned Steve's body up and down, definitely taking in the fact that he was shirtless. "Jesus that's hot." 

  He chuckled softly. "Did you need anything?" 

  Tony blinked and pulled himself back into reality. "Oh, yeah. I was wondering if maybe I could sleep in here tonight? It doesn't have to be on the bed or anything but-" he didn't get it finish, as Steve was already pulling him in the room. 

  He led him over to the bed. "You sure?" Tony asked. 

  "Just choose a side, Stark." Steve nodded, and crawled in after Tony did. He pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'll be here when you wake up. I promise." 

  Tony sighed in content, and scooted as close to him as possible. “Thank you, Steve.” 

“For what?” 

“For letting it begin again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I would appreciate comments of praise and/or constructive criticism. This is my first stony fanfic and my fir fic in general on AO3. I apologize if the characterization is off, I just felt that steve would be excited and bubbly and since Tony’s previous relationship was terrible it made him quieter.


End file.
